Disagree and Commit

In my work with leadership teams, it's really important that we have a set of ground rules that guide our behavior in and outside of our meetings. And probably one of the most important ground rules, and really often the most misunderstood, is something called disagree and commit.

Now, the way I often explain disagree and commit is by telling people what it's not versus what it is, because it actually makes it easier to understand. So let's say we're around a conference room table, and we're having a really important debate, I'm the leader on facilitating a discussion about going with Option A, or Option B, left side of the table really wants option A, right side of the table really wants option B, you're sitting on the right side of the table.

We have a rigorous debate, all voices are heard a certain point in the discussion, I say thank you all for your input. I've heard everything. And we're going to go with option A.

Now, here's what disagree and commit is not. You believe that was option B, the decision was made to go with option A, you now need to go back to your team. Who knew we were having this meeting, who were pleading for option B and for you to fight for option B, you go back to your team, they say, please tell us you went with Option B. And you say no, sorry, the team decided it was option A, let's figure out how to make the best of it.

Now, we've probably all done that, and actually thought we were disagree and committing when we did that.

But when you said tell your team, the team decided option A. Not me, but the team decided, and let's make the best of it.

What do you think your team is looking for?

Your team is now looking for every excuse to prove why option A was the wrong answer. And option B was the right answer all along. That's not commitment.

The right way to do it would be to go back to the team. And say, guys, we decided not the team, we decided in the meeting to go with option A. Let's talk about how we're going to make it work. That's disagree and commit.

Disagree and commit means even if you disagree, when you walk out of that room, you are as committed to making it work. As if you bought into that that idea of option A all along, and it doesn't mean you lie to your team and say I always thought it was option A. But what it means is you say we made a decision. Let's make it work. You're committed to it.

So if you're wondering why on your team or in your organization, you sometimes make what one of my clients calls, zombie decisions, which are decisions you think you made, but then they rise up from the dead, and you have to make them all over again. Or if you make a decision, and you think the team is committed to it, but people are not really as focused as they should be. And questions keep coming up about why you made that decision.

So therefore, you're not moving forward on it the way you should, go back and understand whether you really have disagree and commit working on your team.

It's critical that everyone in your organization understands that concept.