Flip the Focus Switch
The biggest obstacle to our goals, our dreams, is not outside circumstances - it's what's in your head. Our outside world is really just a reflection of our inside world. If we have disempowering thoughts, they're going to lead to disempowering actions, which leads to results we're not going to be very happy with. If we have empowering thoughts, they lead to empowering actions and great results.
What I want to share with you is a very simple four-step process called “flipping the switch” that will help you shift your focus in a really easy way. The metaphor I use is actually of a light switch. That light switch - the flipping of the switch - gives you the ability to shift from a disempowering focus where you're feeling stuck to a more empowering one where you can break through. So let's go through those steps in the flip the switch process:
Feel the emotion. Emotions are not inherently good or bad. Think of emotions as a signal telling you you've got to take some action. That's all they are. So if we step through an example, you might feel an emotion of frustration or sadness or anger or disappointment or fear. All of those emotions are disempowering emotions that are not going to lead to creative, powerful actions that you take.
Label the focus. When you have that emotion of frustration, let's say, label the focus. What are you focused on? If you're frustrated, you're probably focused on what you don't want. Anytime you focus on what you don't want versus what you want, it's going to lead to some level of frustration or disappointment or anger. Maybe you're focused on some place you want to be that you're not there yet. You're focused on the destination: "I'll be happy when." Maybe you're focused on a random event that happened to you and you don't understand the purpose behind it. Whatever it is, label your focus and you start to understand why you're having that disempowering emotion.
Inquire. You want to ask yourself an empowering question. So as an example, I may label my focus as “I'm feeling frustrated because I'm focused on what I don't want,” or “I'm feeling fearful because I'm frustrated on what I don't want.” Think about it. What would an empowering question be to shift that focus? It might be, “what do I want?”
Proceed. If you shift from what you don't want to what you want, all of a sudden, you've got a whole set of options in front of you that's going to lead to real action. It's going to let you proceed.
So feel the emotion, label the focus that's causing that emotion, and inquire by asking an empowering question - that is actually the thing that shifts the focus. Then, proceed and take empowering actions.