Be more coachable
I had a client about two years ago that desperately wanted to solve the problems of his company. And he had a lot of them.
His leadership team wasn't very strong, his company was losing market share losing revenue, not making any money. He saw fairly clearly what the problems were all around him. And he desperately tried to solve it. But he couldn't, because he was missing one thing.
While he saw all the problems around him, he wasn't able to look in the mirror and see where a lot of those problems emanated from.
He wasn't coachable.
And I would say the biggest characteristic that I see that's a differentiator between a great leader, and a not so great leader, is their coach ability.
And I don't mean how well they work with me as a coach.
I mean, are they coachable by the folks around them, including, but certainly not limited to me.
So what I want to talk to you about is what I think are the six characteristics that make someone coachable. If you're able to, to do these things devour these things, you're going to be more coachable, you're going to get better as a leader. And if you're better as a leader, your team will get better around you. And if they don't, you'll be better able to attract the right folks to bring onto your team to create a great leadership team, what I call a breakthrough leadership team.
The first characteristic of someone that's coachable is you've got to be able to put away your ego, it's okay to ask for help. As a leader, you don't have to have the superhero cape on, you don't have to be the smartest person in the room all the time. In fact, that's a pretty big clue that you've got the wrong team, or your ego's too big. Number one, put away the ego. It's okay to ask for help of your peers and of the people that report to you.
Number two, when you ask for help, when you ask for feedback, be specific. Don't just say, hey, how do you think I'm doing? Be specific? How do you think I did communicating in that town hall event we had two hours ago? How good a job do you think I'm doing helping to drive the strategic direction of the company? How crystal clear is our company vision? When you ask for feedback, be specific. When you're too general it looks like you're fishing for compliments, versus asking for real feedback.
Number three, regardless of the feedback you get, your response is, thank you. Not I agree? Not I disagree. Your response is thank you, even if you disagree. Why are you saying thank you if you disagree, because you're thanking the other person, for thinking enough about you and enough about the company to care enough to be honest, and give you feedback. Let's be honest, as a leader, it's not always difficult to get feedback, because people are a little fearful of saying what might be construed as something negative towards someone that they report to. So number three, say thank you whether you agree or disagree.
Number four, be accountable. If you promise to do something, do it. If you get feedback, and you promise to make a change, make that change consistently. And then ask again. Hey, how am I doing? Are you seeing that change? I know, three weeks ago, you said, I interrupt too much in meetings. I really worked hard on that. Have you seen me get better, be accountable, do what you say and then ask again for feedback to make sure you're actually behaving in a way that is making that change.
Number five, take responsibility. Even if it's not your fault, if you get coached on something if you get feedback on something, that is a problem that you view as being out there. You're not going to make the change you need to make, and you're going to blame. Stop blaming blame is a horrible strategy. Take responsibility. I talk about something called the locus of control. An external locus of control means things happen to me, an internal locus of control means I make things happen. In any situation, find the piece that you can control and take responsibility for that.
And lastly incredibly important to be coachable is understand, when you are being coached, it's not about getting advice, necessarily. When I coach folks when I am being the best coach I can be. It's not when I'm giving beautiful advice to someone. It's when I'm asking the right questions to help them. Think it through. Just because I'm coaching someone doesn't mean I know the right action for them to take. So turn that around and when you're being coached, don't always ask for advice. Ask for help thinking. If someone is coaching you, and they're asking you questions versus giving you advice, don't let that frustrate you. That's a good thing. Because you have the answer in here. You just need someone coaching you to ask you the right questions, to bring it out.
So quick summary, six characteristics of being incredibly coachable.
Put away your ego.
When you ask for feedback, be specific.
Say thank you.
Be accountable. Do what you said you were going to do and then ask for feedback again.
Take responsibility, even if it's not your fault
Ask for help thinking, not advice.