Leveraging Strengths and Communication Styles with Allison Tabor
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"The most effective way to lead people is to have a keen understanding of each person that is on your leadership team, how to communicate with them and how to motivate them as a unique individual."
— Allison Tabor
Leveraging Team Talent Diversity for Leadership Excellence
- Recognize each team member's unique talents.
- Promote conversations about talent diversity for team growth.
The Journey from Professional Achievement to Personal Fulfillment
- Many people feel unfulfilled despite hard work.
- Understanding the gap between external success and internal satisfaction is crucial.
Enhancing Team Dynamics through Mutual Strengths Recognition
- Teams should coach each other on individual strengths.
- Foster a culture of honest feedback for a comprehensive understanding of personal strengths.
Implementing Behavioral Insights for Sustained Organizational Impact
- Encourage the application of learning from tools like DISC in daily activities.
- Recognize and utilize diverse communication styles within the team.
Understanding DISC Profiles: Professional Communication Beyond Excuses
- DISC: Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, Conscientiousness - communication styles.
- Use DISC to adjust communication, not as an excuse for behavior.
Thanks for listening!
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Mike Goldman: Our guest today is Allison Tabor. She's an international speaker, facilitator, and the author of the best selling Work,
Work Your Assets Off: Stop Working So Hard in Business and in Life.
Allison guides business leaders and their teams to communicate collaboratively, leverage talents, and stop working so hard. You'll find Allison on stage or facilitating workshops and retreats. Allison also facilitates for the International Women President's association leading to San Francisco bay area and one national platinum peer advisory group of women presidents and CEOs of multi million dollar companies.
She was honored with the WPO 2021 president's award for facilitating greatness. Allison is the current president of the national speakers association of Northern california. And that's actually where Allison and I met was at a National Speakers Association annual conference.
So Allison, welcome to the show.
Allison: Well thank you. I'm super excited to spend some time with you on this.
Mike Goldman: I'm super excited to hear from you. And as always, it's the better leadership team show. So it's all about leadership teams. So my first question is, from your experience, what's the one most important characteristic of a great leadership team?
Allison: The most. Okay. There's so many that are important, but I would say the most important characteristic for a great leader. It's for them to understand and leverage the talent that they have on their team. So it's really, you understand those unique talents that each team member brings and knowing how best to leverage those talents.
Mike Goldman: Love it. It's amazing how many times I've asked that question on this show now and I very rarely get the same answer. So, it's good.
I think it means that was not a duplicate. So I think that means it's probably a good question if I'm getting some different answers.
Allison: I think so. Then that leads to the fact that there's a good opportunity for a conversation for us.
Mike Goldman: There you go. Thank God we're talking. So one of the things I've heard you say, I actually saw this on your website. It's a quote I love, so I want to ask you about it, you say, so many of us go from college to cubicle to casket, working hard and yet failing to find satisfaction. Such a depressing thing to hear, but we know it's true.
Why do you think that is?
Allison: I think because we often get on this hamster wheel of what we think we're supposed to be doing or how we're supposed to be doing it. And that we somehow think that everything has to take incredible effort. And not to say that we don't apply ourselves and put effort towards things, but I don't think we have to overexert ourselves and to exert ourselves in the wrong places, doing the wrong things.
And I sometimes think we don't pause to really assess what are we doing? How are we doing it? Who are we doing it with? Why are we doing it? And so I think we get on this I just really would say is this like a hamster wheel. So I think it doesn't matter whether you're starting out in your career or you're well underway in your career.
It's just if we don't pause and actually consider some of these important questions. We can just get into this into this mode of autopilot and not really, make meaningful changes.
Mike Goldman: How did you learn that? Was there a point in your life, in your career where maybe you felt like you were working your butt off and saying, hey, what, am I really
doing here?
Allison: Yes you know, I think there's a couple of, like I would say, like defining moments where I felt like there was something to pay attention to. One of them was, you know, in my former life or so to speak, I say, I'm a recovering, you know, business owner that had employees and all the great and not so great things that comes with leading a team of people.
And that was you know before I moved into being more of an independent consultant and working in this new phase of my career. But at the time that I was running an engineering business, my husband and I owned a structural engineering business. At the time, I found that I was really good at what I did. And just because I was good at it and just because we had a great reputation, I found that it wasn't feeling as fulfilling after a period of time. And I realized that there was always, I would say, aspects of what I did that were, in fact, fulfilling. I love mentoring people. I love the whole experience with growing team members, the leadership actually.
So it's ironic we're talking about that. I love the leadership aspect. It was some of the operational things that I wasn't as excited about, you know, all of the, the changing landscape, especially in California being such a litigious area, you know, there were constant laws that came into play. And, for example, we couldn't work on condominiums for a period of time because one out of every two condominium project resulted in a lawsuit.
And so I found that I feel like I was being controlled by the environment, you know, the legal exposures or potential risks that I was making decisions that perhaps were not necessarily what I wanted to do, but I felt I had to do to to be successful in business and slowly but surely I felt
each of these things, like that one example where it's chipping away and I was like, you know, this isn't feeling fun anymore. And so I found that I was going through the motions and just because we were succeeding in business by everyone else's standards, I found it unfulfilling. And I just, I think I was hitting a case of what would be classic burnout.
And I started realizing that, I wasn't as fulfilled and I wanted to find other ways to get you know, re-excited, re-engaged, re-invigorated. I started by changing some things that I did within the business. I started adding some philanthropic, things that I was working on. We did a lot with shelters and helping to build shelters for the temporarily homeless and I had board positions and I did all these things.
And that for me was when I had the realization that I was less passionate about my business and that model and I was ready for a change.
Mike Goldman: So it leads us right into the book. You wrote, you know, and I love the title, Work Your Assets Off. But what's the difference between working your assets off and working your ass off? what's the distinction
there?
Allison: Yeah, I think the big word is would be leverage. You know, that's where the leverage comes in and you can't leverage what you don't understand. So I started on this journey of figuring out, well, what is it that I enjoy? What is it that I'm good at? Which ones are both right? Because we can be good at things, but maybe they were not necessarily bring us gratification or joy.
So what am I good at that energizes me, that's fulfilling that has impact. And so to me, the working your assets off is taking stock. First of all is understanding. Well, what is it that you know? What is it about you? That is important to know. What are your interests? What are your skills?
What are you know? What energizes you, you know? What would you like to do? Not just what do you feel you need to do? Or what is it that you're good at? And so I think the beginning part of working your assets off is really an inventory. Self inventory and inventory of others. So looking around and saying, well, for example, if I really love to do, I'm just going to make it up.
Let's say I love to connect with people, but I don't want to work on spreadsheets. Well, as business owners, especially when you're in the earlier stage of businesses, you know solopreneurs, they're doing everything. They're the chief bottle washer. They're doing things that they may not like to do, but they feel they have to do.
And so you have a long list of what I call haftas. And then there's the wannas, the wannas and the haftas, right? So I look at this and I said, all right, what is it that I'm good at? What is needed for this business? And what are the things that I am not interested in doing that I can have someone else do?
Where that falls into their area of strengths, skills, and interests. So rather than being all things for all people, why don't I just be the best version of me that aligns with what the company needs or with any organization needs, and then have others that are doing the same. So it's taking inventory.
And then it's aligning what you discover. So what is it that you want to do? What do others bring to the table? And it becomes this one plus one equals three factor. So you have everyone working, but they're working joyfully with gratification with a sense of fulfillment, getting things done, but not having to do it in a way that it feels like climbing uphill with weights on their back, which was a lot of people do, and they just keep
going
Mike Goldman: And, you work hard, you may even work harder, but my guess is actually I don't have to guess
because kind of living some of this, but you work harder but it doesn't feel that way.
Allison: No, you know, it's funny because it's not about having like work ethic, right? Because I have a really strong work ethic and I always apply myself to all that I do and who I'm working with when I'm working. And even for example, when I'm putting in time and energy on something that's pro bono, if I'm doing something that's in my philanthropic world, I treat it just like it's my highest paying client.
So I'm very committed, but I don't feel like I'm working hard. Not nearly as hard as I was before, because the work that I'm doing is the right work and I'm bringing the right mindset, the right energy, the right skills to the work that I do. And I say no to things that are not aligned. And I think sometimes we're afraid.
We're so busy to say yes to everything that we overcommit to the wrong things. I'm very selective with what I do, who I work with, all of those things. I think if we are more discerning with the opportunities that we will feel like we're not working as hard because we're doing things that we enjoy with people we enjoy
Mike Goldman: When you talk about taking an inventory, you know, there are things out there like strengths finders, there is the VIA character strength survey, which is something through, oh, forgot the website, but the kind of the inventor of positive psychology so that there are tools out there.
Is there.
a tool you recommend for that, or Is there a different process you recommend in figuring out?
What your strengths and talents are that you can focus
on?
Allison: You know, I say the best tool that's out there is the tool that you'll use. Now, I personally have my own favorites and I will say there's some that are high tech, some that are low tech. I've used everything from just actually an exercise right out of a book. you know, the famous book, you know, What Color is Your Parachute.
and using the flower exercise. I actually talk about that in my book and the flower exercise helps walk you through the each pedal of the flower. If you will, that reveals more about you and what type of environments do you like being in? What type of people do you like to be working with?
What types of things do you want to do? So even something as basic as you know, a manual paper exercise can get you there. Personally, the tool that I use very regularly, I use it in my business. That's how I learned how to identify the different priorities that each of my team members have, because when you know different styles, you know that not everyone wants the same thing and not only do they not want the same thing, they don't communicate the same way or want to be led the same way.
So as a leader, probably the best thing that I ever did is I brought DISC, the D I S C communication tool into my team. And once I brought the DISC in, everything changed. I realized I had one drafter wanted to be communicated in a certain way. Another drafter in a different way. One engineer wanted to be treated in a certain way and another in another way.
And so realizing that we're not all hardwired the same. It was the DISC that delivered the message for me in real time. So I used that back in the 80s and I was a game changer and I knew that regardless of whatever direction that my future, you know, would take that DISC was going to be an ongoing tool that I would bring along with me.
And so now in my consulting and working with lots of other leaders, it's the first tool that I recommend. Have you considered using DISC with your team and whether you use it as let's say a tool to understand a team member before you even integrate them. So it could be like, I'm looking at maybe a few candidates to bring into my organization.
That could be one additional piece of data to say, all right, they're all, let's say three candidates are equally qualified and great that you think there'll be great for the role. But you can't decide. This could give you some additional insight for not only what's their communication style, what motivates them. And then you could then carry that with existing teams, your existing team members. If you are leading people with a singular style, it's not effective. The most effective way to lead people is to have a keen understanding of each person that is on your leadership team, how to communicate with them.
And how to motivate them as a unique individual. So DISC is what I use, but there is Strength Finders, there's Predictive Index, there's Colors, there's all sorts of tools out there. Some are more, what I would say, reliable than others. Some are better to be used in a professional setting that you're making professional decisions.
Others are fine if you're just doing more of a self assessment. DISC is my go to for when you really want a reliable set.
Mike Goldman: And just a thought some something I've done that Allison, I want to get
your. Thoughts on Specific, not to DISC, and I want to come back to DISC because I've used disc. probably not as much as you, but I've used DISC a good amount in my business as
well. But when it comes to the strengths, which is a little bit different, DISC, there's strengths, in communication we can talk about, but when it comes to overall strengths,
what I've done with clients that's interesting is using either strength finders or, and I now remember the website, it's authentichappiness.org.
There's something called the VIA character
strength survey. But what I found interesting is I've had leaders kind of, understand what are their top three or five natural talents or strengths. And then I have them ask a couple of questions of themselves, you know, how can I best leverage this strength?
How can I get even better at this strength that I have? How can I do more of this strength? So they answer it. And then what I found is really useful is getting the leadership
team together and actually having the leadership team coach
each other. Where they say, hey,what it's telling me is these are my strengths and I do agree, do you all agree, this is a strength, yes or no, and here's how I think I could better leverage it, what do you all think
And then they
get coaching on that.
So, I found that to be super, super useful, cause
for me, I'm going to figure
out my strengths. But using your team to help you figure out those strengths and leverage those strengths, I found is, is really powerful.
Wondering, Allison, what your thought is on that, if you've ever done anything
similar.
Allison: Yes, because what happens is when we're self assessing, you know, we have a bias. That's our perception bias, right? So how we want to how we see ourselves how we'd like to be seen and we might miss things or we might overstate that we are really great at X when it's actually our greater strength is Y.
And part of that might be because of some messaging that we get along the way. Sometimes people associate like there might be a stigma to certain types of strengths for some like, oh I can't really let's say I'm really good at persuading and closing deals, someone might be like, oh, I don't want to bring that up as a strength because I don't want to be perceived as I'm pushy or salesy or something.
So one, I think their attitude about those strengths might influence whether they acknowledge them or not, or how they even embrace them and when you have your team members when there is a culture of honest communication where there's sincere transparency and there's trust and then your peers are your best to help reflect to you how they're seeing you, how you're showing up in their eyes.
And that doesn't necessarily always align right with how we see ourselves. So being seen through others when we know the others really have our backs and they're just there to support us. They're just seeing things differently can be an eye opener.
Mike Goldman: So, getting back to DISC and communication styles, and by the way, I am an extreme high DI, almost outside the circle. DI, which is interesting.and I think a lot of entrepreneurs are there, but not all, but a specific question about DISC or really any communication styles. How do you make sure the individuals on that team are truly executing on what they learned, because one of the things I've seen and I've been through is whether it's DISC or social styles or Myers Briggs or you pick the assessment is the team takes the assessment, goes through a wonderful workshop on the assessment and how they should flex their style to others and how to communicate and then the facilitator goes home and everybody goes back to work and in a lot of cases nothing really changes. So how do you make sure that that learning is something that actually becomes habit for folks?
Allison: I absolutely can share a few thoughts on how to actualize and integrate this learning in an organization. Before I do, there was something you said that if I'd love to go back to you said something about your being a D I . And how you believe that many others that are leaders have this, the D I
characteristics entrepreneurs. Okay, so entrepreneurs and what I will share is that there's two questions I'm asked all the time about DISC. Whenever someone is thinking about DISC, they want to know what is the primary style of a business owner or CEO. And the other is what is the primary style of a salesperson? Those are the two questions that come up all the time.
And interestingly enough, there is a perception that most entrepreneurs are D I's and they're not. I have so many different CEOs who have gone through the DISC and you'll be surprised at how many outstanding business owner leaders, male and female, have different styles as their primary style. A smart leader is a leader who understands their style and leverages the style. So for example, you know, if you're a DI, you want to have someone on your leadership team that is your compliment, not your exact duplicate. You want your compliment and you want someone else. Like if you're a DI, you're going to be someone who's going to get things done.
You're going to connect and relate with people. You're going to keep things moving. Well, you might want to have someone on the team that is really concerned with the details, who is super focused on you know all the things that follow in my experience with business owners. Most of them when they're experienced, they recognize that they can't be all things for their business.
So they start to surround themselves with their compliments. So I have leaders who are high I, high D, high S, high C. So we have people who are introverted, where people who are extroverted, people who are ambiverts. Leaders who are focused on process. So they better have a people person on their team.
Leaders who are focused on people, they need to have a process person on their team. So you can be an outstanding leader, an outstanding business owner with any style. One style isn't better than another. It's just a matter of knowing what your style is and what the gaps are so that you make sure you have those styles really fully represented.
Mike Goldman: I love that, I love your correcting me on that because you're so right, and it gets back to your original answer to my question on what's the most important characteristic of a great leadership team. And you talked about leveraging the talents of everyone on the team
and that's really what you're talking about.
So thank you for
that.
Allison: Well you know, it's a natural thing. You, myself, everyone that's listening to this, we all have different biases. We hear a lot right now about different biases in terms of of gender and race, but there's communication style biases too. And it doesn't make us bad for having them. It's just we should know that we have them.
So you're experiencing things through the lens of your communication style as I am and so forth. And just recently I was invited to speak at a conference where there were these event planners and we did a DISC assessment ahead of time. We had a communications session in this conference and one of the key.
I would say participants in the conference, who's part of their leadership team for this organization. He said, oh, I expect that you're going to find we're all pretty much, you know, high I's, maybe some D's and I's, but you're going to find that we're mostly D I's. And I said, okay, well, let's see. Well, ironically, I had to share a slide to show them the pie and how they were a third, a third and a third of three different styles.
And, you know, and one style was pretty much vacant, but it was not what he thought he was assuming because through his lens and through his experience in his world, that's what he sees. And yet the group that was in the room, two thirds of the of those people in the room were not like him. And I think it was an eye opener for him and for others.
So I want to go back to your second. I didn't forget about your second, your question .
Mike Goldman: you.
Allison: I wanted to take a
Mike Goldman: you.
Allison: I wanted to detour because a lot of people, you know, have that idea. And I think it's important to know that there is no better style. There is no right style. It's just knowing what it is.
And leaning into it and and really leveraging it and then bringing others with their styles and leveraging theirs. So having said that going back to your question what happens when you have this great, it's a you know, you have this kumbaya experience. Everybody knows all about each other. We understand who's a D who's an I and what it means and we're feeling informed.
We're feeling excited. We're feeling connected. And then you go back and then there's 15 emails waiting you. There's phone calls to return. There's life happens. And then you go, what happens to it? So what I always suggest is think of DISC, it's not a one off. You can make it a one off and I'll be very honest.
I've been invited into retreats and to lead retreats and workshops where they just wanted, hey, we're bringing our group, you know, we're bringing them from all our different locations. We have one day together and we're going to spend this day. We want you to lead a workshop on using DISC and then of course, my question is, well, what's your plans for integrating afterwards?
How can I support you with that? Are you open to that? And some are like absolutely open to that. Others are like, no, no we just want to get our group together, we just need to have something that's fun and useful. And we need somebody who's experienced to like run this process for us. So that's why we want to bring you in.
And so part of my answer to you is, is asking, well, what is the intention behind doing this in the first place? Because some people are not really being fully intentional that they want to use the DISC as a tool for improving communication, understanding, collaboration, and effectiveness. And ultimately, one of the big benefits really ultimately for what everyone is interested now is for retention, engaging your team and retaining your team.
You can't engage a team member and retain a team member when you're not speaking their language and you don't know what motivates them. So I would say that there, there are plenty of people who are under utilizing the power of the tool. And then there are others who fully are aware and are utilizing it.
And I prefer to work with people who are in that fully realized state and the truth is not everybody is. So I meet people where they are. I'm happy to assist people if someone wants a DISC experience and they want to have that level of impact. It's still an impact. People are still going to learn.
They're still going to become more self aware. They're still going to be armed with some tools, but you know, I know you know, this, Mike, you can give people tools and they may or may not avail themselves of it, right? They can have it and do nothing with it. So how can we improve this?
The chances of success when they have this, there's two things. I think there's an outside advocate. Like someone like myself, someone like you, someone like another consultant who's asking those questions to bring the attention and the accountability. You know, how are you using it? What's going on?
Tell me, you know, asking and staying on top of it. The other is, I believe there should be an internal ambassador or quarterback. So I'm always looking for within a team that I work with is there anyone on the team? So especially someone who's really excited about DISC, who would like to continue to be this intermediary that could really help the team on an ongoing basis.
And then we talk about things and I support them with things they could do internally without any external support, as well as with support, for example. I love it when they have a list of everybody's styles and make it completely accessible and I help them to identify the top five do's and the top five don'ts that each team member prefers when being communicated with and then having a central place.
So you know, Sally wants me to be brief and to the point, Joey wants me to give him facts, figures and details and graphs. So like I have a central resource that helps me to see. My talent in one place, you know, each of my team members are my assets, right? So I want to know details about each of my assets and my assets want to know about each other.
So one would be create a summary central place where you can get to this data because no one is going to read 75 pages for each and every person on the team. There's not a business owner I have ever worked with who would honestly tell me they've read cover to cover and they don't need to.
So you create a summary like a dashboard. So I have a couple of my own, I would say add on tools. I bring DISC in as the foundation, but I use a couple of my own tools to bring it, you know, into a digestible format so that people can understand it, process it more rapidly and use it on an ongoing basis.
So one part using these tools. So you have the data in digestible forms, having an advocate to help keep it going. Another thing I really like to do is partnering. I like to call it communication buddies. So having your team member, you know, and you can do it over different periods of time.
I like to see a month's period, at least three weeks, where let's say you and I are communication buddies. And for three weeks, I'm hyper focused on you. What is it that you want? What are the top five do's when I communicate with you? What are the top five don'ts? What's your style? What motivates you? And it takes only 10 seconds, literally 10 seconds a day to read through it.
I have a list, oh with Mike, do this, do this, do this, do this. With Mike, don't do this, don't do this, don't do this. He cares mostly about this, this, and this, and not so much about that and that. If I pay attention to that, over the course of three weeks, we now have created, we mentioned the word habit earlier.
You're creating a habit because you create a new neural pathway in the brain. And now I'm like, oh, I get it. Mike wants these things, doesn't want these things. I don't even have to look at the list anymore. Now you're interacting with me and I'm like, oh, (he) wants me to speed it up. Uh oh, oh wait, he wants me to give him more data.
Oh, he wants me to do this. It's like you suddenly, you start to become more naturally adept at responding to each person in their unique way when you're paying attention to this. So capturing it, having it easily digestible, and then using it on a regular basis will form a habit, and then you'll know more about your key team members.
Mike Goldman: Love it. Love all that. I love having the advocate inside , a chief DISC officer so I love that. There you go.
Allison: Oh, I love that.
Mike Goldman: you could steal
that from me and going
Allison: I'm to
borrow it.
Mike Goldman: You don't have to give me credit. But you know what I realized? we jumped into DISC and I'm assuming, of course, everybody knows DISC and, of course that's not the truth.
So give us, Allison just the brief overview of the D, the I, the S, and the C. Like what does it mean just for people who are saying they're pissing me off because I don't know what DISC is. Let's give those folks a brief overview.
Allison: Absolutely. So we all have these four different elements to our communication style, the D, the I and S and the C, and we have them in different proportions. So I might have a little more of a D, a little more I, someone else may have a little less D. And so what each one means, the D is the dominant, the decisive, the director, the D aspect of communication is the person who is really after the results.
They move fast, talk fast. Let's go bottom line it. You know, they might interrupt people who are not going quickly enough. And by the way, I'll continue to share what each one is D I S and C, but each one has its blessing and its curse. You know, there's like great aspects and not so great. So the not so great part is when we're in our overextended self or we're not aware
of how our style is you know, showing up. But so here's the great aspects of a D on a team. The D will help get things done. They are the movers, the shakers, the doers. They have urgency and they are all about moving forward. They're risk takers. They don't mind. They don't take it personal. If it doesn't work out, all right, brush themselves off, get back up and go at it again.
They also have no problem with conflict. They really like a little bit of professional sparring. A little debating is kind of good. They're energized by a little crisis or a little communication challenge where others would feel completely overwhelmed and confronted and they don't want to have any type of disagreement or difference of opinion.
So the D's don't mind a little bit of healthy conflict, they like putting out fires. They're firefighters. They go from firefight to firefight and they're kind of bored and not so happy if they don't have something to really run towards and do that. and so they're one of the extroverted style.
The other extroverted style is the I and the I is the influencer and they're all about the experience and the connection. They're all about like, let's go do this because it's going to be fun and we're going to have a great time. Where the D is like, let's do this so we can get in and out fast.
The I is like, well, let's have a good time while we're doing it. Let's have a good experience. They're team builders. They're enthusiastic. They're, you know, the half full versus the half empty. And, you can even hear it in their voices. Like, hi, how are you? There's almost like a little song in their voice or
they're just more, excited and positive and enthusiastic than the D that's more like, all right, we got to get this done. We got to get this done. And someone might think like, what's wrong, is that person mad? No, no, they're not mad. They're focused and they're getting something done. And then to a D that wants to get something done, I could actually irritate them because they're like, all right, enough with the with all this excitement and all this storytelling and you know they might talk too much for the D.
The D wants bottom line and the I's want to express and connect. So those two are the extroverts. The D is more of the process extrovert and the I is more of the people extrovert. They want to connect with people. And then the other two, the S and the C, those are the two introverted styles. The S and the C, the S is the softer spoken, they're people oriented, but they're like on a scale of one to 10, they're like a five or a six on the scale versus the D and the I, there are eight, nine, tens.
The S is calm. That's what they bring to teams. They bring a lot of calm and stability. They're all about consistency and repeatable processes. They like security and so they're very loyal. They're very committed. And they're very attentive. They're like the marathon runners on a team. You know, the D's are the sprinters and the S's are the marathon runners.
Sustained attention, lots of patience. D, not so much on the patience, right? The S's, more patience, sustainable attention. So the S's, they bring the calm. One of the challenges that S's bring is they're not necessarily as demonstrative. it's kind of hard to know what they're thinking or feeling. So they're, I'm fine.
They're like, I'm fine. I'm really, I'm fine. Mike, Mike, I'm fine. Mike, I quit. Like what? Like where did that come from? Because they're not going to feel comfortable sharing as openly as the D's it's on their sleeve the eyes It's on the other sleeve the S's it's internal. So it's not that they're not emotional.
They have emotions, but they're internalized so they're not externally sharing as much so they can have poker face and you don't know that they're disappointed or unhappy about things until sometimes it's too late. And then the last of the four styles would be the C, and the C is the compliance.
The C's are all about the details. Show them the information. They want data, charts, graphs, their high attention towards quality, you know, and they're great on a team because they bring the attention to those details and a QA, QC mindset. The challenges for the C's can be one is that they can be overly critical of themselves and others.
So I can come to a, let's say a high C and say, hey, you know, look at this here. Look at this great report I have here, I spent all weekend working on it isn't this wonderful? Did you see that you have a typo there? You spelled Mike's name wrong. You've got M I K K E. Womp womp. Disappointment to the person coming to them, but they don't mean to, they're not trying to diminish anybody's contributions, but it can feel diminishing when they're not
necessarily generous with praise and compliments because they have a critical view which you know, they're looking through. The other over extension for a C is they can sometimes get into analysis paralysis. They're so focused on the details that they're stuck. And so it's like, okay, here's the target, too late targets gone.
They're like trying to adjust the target. Like they're another building now and so they're gone. So we have D I S and C we're all of those things, but they're in different proportions, like ingredients and knowing what proportion each person is of these four elements helps us to get a better understanding of how someone prefers to communicate, how they prefer to approach situations, people, and problems.
Mike Goldman: Love it. And what I've seen that I want point out and Alllison get your comment on is it's very important to internalize that that understanding these different styles is so you understand those folks around you and flex to their to their be need to be to how they need to they because that is what sometimes
this starts out as a but it becomes a real problem where use DISC profile as an excuse for the way they're acting. Like I'm sorry, I'm not rude I'm not impatient I'm I'm just a high D, that's who am I of but gonna take a lot time, I'm a C, that's make excuses who to right? right?
Allison: I love that you brought that up because I call BS on that. And there are people who try to do that. And so I think there's a responsibility, that any consultant, any HR leader, any DISC facilitator, anyone who is bringing DISC to a team. There's a responsibility on how they share the information, use the information and how they cultivate the use of that by others.
So I don't think it's ever a justified excuse to say, well, I'm just being my D self or I'm just being my I self or hey, I'm an like, no, it's not about the world isn't going to drop it at your feet and conform to the way you are. And you don't get a free pass to do things, you know, that are insensitive to others that's your hard wiring.
Rather, the invitation is notice. Oh, you could say it like you might say, know, let's say you're a high D and you know, I know that I can be really intense and demanding and commanding. It's in my nature as a D. So I'm really trying to be patient. So would it be possible to get this
by tomorrow. If you can't get it done today, would tomorrow work? So I can acknowledge my ahh like I want this, I want this yesterday. You know, I'm a high D and I really want this yesterday. And I know you're not a high D and you would like to do this maybe next week. Can we agree on tomorrow? Would that work?
That would be a responsible way to own your style and acknowledge another style in that way. But to say, oh, I'm just, a high D and I need everything yesterday. So you need to deliver it. And that's just the way it is. Well, good luck with that. And you won't be a successful leader in my mind for very long because successful leaders don't want to alienate anybody on their team.
Mike Goldman: Yeah and used right. It's such a powerful way to influence others like if you know you got to go sell an a idea or a product or whatever you're trying to influence someone else. How important is it to know that this is someone who needs the details to make a decision? Maybe that's not what I need but it's what they need or the opposite , I'm so used to sharing the 127 reasons why we've got to do it. I need to influence someone who is a high D and they want the headline and they want to make a decision. It's so important to know that in order to be able to influence them.
Allison: I think if you're breathing, you're influencing people. I mean, I don't care what you do. If you make widgets, you design widgets, you sell widgets, you're the leader of a widget making company, it doesn't matter. We're all ultimately we're in the people business and whether we're making things or delivering things, whatever it if you're ever going to interact with another person, whether by phone, whether by zoom, whether in whatever modality, if you're going to interact with other, other people. I think the one of the most important skills that any business owner, leader, human should should master its communication because we are always in communication with others, and this is just an extraordinary communication tool that just helps us to that better.
Mike Goldman: Let's shift focus. I want to move over to the WPO and your role in the women president's organization. Tell us what the WPO is all about. Who are its members? Give us a little background on it.
Allison: Yes, and I'll start by saying before I became a facilitator for the W. P. O. I was in a peer advisory group. Peer advisory groups are where business owners that get together and support each other. So that they can grow as leaders and grow their companies. And so I was in a peer group for over 10 years and experienced firsthand the value of the dynamic of being in a group of, we had, you know, between 12 and 20 people where we're working to support each other in our success and the WPO
is a peer advisory group doing that, where you have members that come together. In this case, the WPO women presidents organization is all women business owners with a minimum annual revenue of a million dollars or more a year. And there's different tiers. There's a million and there's another tier that is a platinum group, which I also facilitate, which are 10 million and above.
And there's another called Zenith, which is 50 million and above. And each of these these members come together, whether they're local in a local chapter, because there's chapters all over the world, they come together and they have a half day meetings where they're supporting each other. There's the platinum groups where they get together and the Zenith get together three times a year in a more of a retreat style setting.
They take a deeper dive over the course of three days. But in either model, what's great about the WPO is it is a safe. Supportive environment for these women business owners to get together and grow themselves as leaders and grow their companies. And ultimately, whether it's growing to exit, you know, growing for to work their assets off more and not work so hard, whatever it looks like, it's really, I think, an unmatched Unmatched organization for women business owners to come together for support, inspiration and a safe place to just bring your full self.
the WPO is, I was saying all over the world and there is a conference, by the way, depending on when you're hearing this, there's a conference in May. at the Broadmoor in Colorado, so you should check out the WPO's website because we'll have about 900 women from all over the world, women business owners that convene, and it is one of the most I think one of the most incredibly inspiring places to
Mike Goldman: It's so important and, I'm a member of a number of peer groups and I've facilitated them as well and what I've seen is as a business owner, owning a business, leading a business, can be pretty lonely and everybody is allowed to complain up to you. But you really probably shouldn't be complaining down. I mean, yes, you should be vulnerable and open and honest with your team. But very often there are things you just need to talk about. Challenges you have, fears you have. It's so important to have that group of folks outside of your company that you could be open and honest with.
Allison: Yeah you know, you raise a really good point, Mike, because there are some situations, there are certain times where as an owner of a business, you'll go to someone who's on your leadership team and you'll discuss these things with them. There might be things you really can't discuss with the leadership team.
Like perhaps there's an acquisition that's in, and you're not ready to disclose that just yet, or maybe you have an underperforming person on the team or something that some, there's, there's a situation where it may not be the appropriate place to bring. So being in a group like the WPO, you have what I would call your private board of directors.
Right. And they are your, you can come to them as a think tank and say, I've got an underperforming team member, or I think my president, you know, the company is outgrowing my president. I want, I might have to replace the president of my company, or I'm thinking that my leadership team isn't going to keep up with the growth.
You know, we went from 10 million to 50 million, but we're going to be 300 million next year with this new project that we're taking on. I don't know that the leadership team is going to take us there, things like that. So let's say, you know, unbiased, group of other business owners that understand you get what you do and are in similar role as you can be a really great to, as a think tank to really help you help you to think better than you would think
in a silo.
Mike Goldman: Where should someone go if they were, and I'm going to ask the same question about you and your business and DISC and all that. But for WPO in particular, if someone listening to this wants to find out more about a local chapter, about a platinum group, about the conference you talked about, where should they go to find out more?
Allison: Well, so the women presidents would be, it's women, women/presidents.com. So if they just go to women/presidents.com, that's where they'll learn about the women presidents organization. And they could see, you know, where the chap, the chapters are all throughout the U S and in other countries or in South Africa, South America, the UK, they're everywhere.
So, If you have an international audience, by all means, check out the women/presidents.com.
Mike Goldman: Excellent. That'll be on the, you know, on the show notes and join Allison's platinum group and you'll get to see me in,I think it's July. I'll be there with your group. So, so that's great. And, so in addition to the WPO, where should people go, Allison, if they want to find out more about you and the work you can do as a speaker or facilitator?
Allison:
This is really complicated, really. I don't know if everyone will be able to record it. Allisontabor.com. So A L L I S O N T A B O R.com. I welcome any type of reach out. You'll find me on LinkedIn. LinkedIn, email, call. I meet people wherever they are in there in terms of their preferred communication approach.
Mike Goldman: Beautiful. Well, I always say, if you want a great company, you need a great leadership team, Alison, thanks so much for helping us get there today.
Allison: Oh, my pleasure. Thanks for invitation Mike.
Mike Goldman: Thank you.
Allison: It's been fun.