Intellectual Curiosity

How does it feel to think you're the smartest person around the table?

Might sound good.

But as a leader, we too often feel that way. And it's got some real negative results.

When we feel like we're the smartest people around the table, we don't really listen.

When we feel like we're the smartest people around the table, the pressure is on us to come up with a great idea. And when we feel like we're the smartest people around the table, we make others around the table feel less than, and they're hesitant to bring up new ideas.

Now, back about 15 years ago, more than 15 years ago, I had a staffing and recruiting firm and I had two great people who worked for me, Kim and Jamie, my staffing supervisors.

And I had been reading a lot of management and leadership books. And I learned that one of the real techniques of being a great leader was to ask questions, and listen more not to dictate. Ask questions and get answers from the team. Great technique, right?

So I used it every day, we had a morning huddle. And when we had a problem, I'd say, Hey, we're having a problem, a problem filling this role. What do you guys think we need to do? And I thought, I learned some cool leadership stuff, great technique.

I was sitting down with Jamie, one of my staffing supervisors who I knew for a long time, she was a personal friend before she worked for me. And because of that, she felt like she could be real honest with me. And I sat down with her for a quarterly performance plan. And one of my questions to her was, Jamie what can I do better? As a leader within the organization? How can I better support you guys?

And she said, Mike, I wish you'd listened more.

I was blown away. Listen more, I've learned this great technique where I ask questions and listen to the answers. I couldn't understand it.

I said Jamie, what do you mean, listen more. I asked you guys questions all the time and get your feedback?

And she said, Yeah, you do. But we always come back around to your answer.

And what I realized at that point, is though, although I learned a pretty good technique, at all it was it was a technique, I still believed I was the smartest person around the table.

So I'd ask the question, but I wasn't really curious as to what their answers were. I was just using a good technique. And smart people like Jamie are going to see right through it.

So the key there is not that that technique is wrong. But attitude comes before the technique.

It was only when I developed a real intellectual curiosity. The need to know what other people thought what other people felt, an understanding that maybe I wasn't the smartest person around the table. Maybe Kim and Jamie knew more than me because they were working on the frontlines with our clients every day, I had to change my attitude first, to one of pure intellectual curiosity, not thinking I knew all the right answers, but just knowing in my heart that there was a better answer out there, and my team may have that better answer.

So read all the leadership books you want. It's great. I do it all the time. I recommend books all the time. But if you're using something because it's a good technique, it's not gonna work very long before your people are going to see through it.

It all starts with attitude. And for me, it was this attitude of intellectual curiosity that made the difference. So stop being or stop thinking You're the smartest person around the table, and be open to the fact, be curious about what other answers might be out there.