How Coachable Are You?
Watch/Listen here or on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts
"And if you believe you've already got it, that means you're not very willing to learn anything new to make you more coachable. And that, in fact, doesn't make you very coachable."
— Mike Goldman
How Coachable Are You?
The level of coachability in a leader distinguishes a good leader from a great leader.
Coachability is not a black-or-white thing, it's a continuum
Being coachable is always about learning and growing
If you think you're already coachable and don't need to learn more, that may indicate that you're not coachable
Signs Of Being Un-coachable
Constantly frustrated with the team and thinking the problem is always with them.
Not looking in the mirror and examining the problems they may be causing.
Not willing to hear the truth and reacting poorly when people are honest with them.
People around are not coachable, which could indicate that the leader is not modeling that behavior.
Not consistently learning and growing or participating in training and development programs.
Questions To Ask If You're Already Coachable
Asking, "how can I get better?" rather than "why aren't they better?"
Would you do new things that scare you and gets you outside of your comfort zone?
Are you consistently learning from books, conferences, and other people around you?
Ask yourself, does the team have the ability to be brutally honest with you?
Ask yourself, is your team coachable and is constantly learning and growing?
Action #1 Never Stop Learning
Never stop learning
Read books, attend conferences, join training programs
Learning makes you realize how much you don't know
It makes you more coachable
Learn from experiences that scare you or something new
Action #2 Put Away Your Ego
It's okay to ask for help as a leader
Be vulnerable
Ask for help
Action #3 Ask For Feedback
Ask for feedback, and make sure you're not asking for praise
Be specific when asking for feedback
Action #4 Say Thank You
When you get feedback, say thank you
Say thank you regardless of whether you agree with the feedback or not
Show appreciation for the other person's courage, honesty, and caring
Pushing back or dismissing the feedback may discourage people from giving you feedback in the future
Action #5 Be Accountable
Don't just learn new things and forget about them.
If you receive feedback, make sure to act on it.
Do what you said you were going to do.
Be accountable and ask for feedback again based on your behavior.
Action #6 Be Responsible
Be responsible even if it's not your fault
It's about taking an internal locus of control
Don't blame outside circumstances
Focus on what you can control
You are responsible for your outcomes
Action #7 Ask For Help Thinking, Not Necessarily Advice
When coaching others, suggest asking questions instead of giving advice
Asking questions helps the person come to their own conclusion
When asking for feedback or coaching, ask specific questions such as "what's the real problem?" or "what have you tried already?"
Don't get frustrated if people don't give you an answer; the best coaching they can give is to ask you questions.
Instead of giving advice, ask questions to help the person come to their own conclusion
Thanks for listening!
Apply for a free coaching call with me
Get a Free Gift ⬇️
🆓 The limitless organization short video course
Connect with me
www.instagram.com/mikegoldmancoach/
www.facebook.com/mikegoldmancoach/
www.www.linkedin.com/in/mgoldman10/
I invite you to assess your team In all these areas by taking an online 30-question assessment for both you and your team at
-
In this episode, I wanna talk about coachability. And as leaders, when we hear that word coachability, we have a tendency to look outward, to think of our team and think of our team members as to whether they are coachable or not coachable and what that means. But what I'd like you to do for this episode is not focus outwardly, but to look in the mirror.
And ask yourself how coachable you are. The level of coachability in a leader is one of the things that I have seen most distinguishes a good leader from a great leader. And it's not black or white. I don't want you to think, you know, you're either coachable or not coachable. It's a continuum, and it's a continuum that may look different depending on your circumstances and certain circumstances or on certain issues.
You may be very coachable, on others you may not be very coachable. So it's not a black or white thing. And in fact, if you're hearing this and you're about to turn this off and say, oh, this is about coachability, and I know I am totally coachable. I don't need this episode. Well, that's a pretty good hint that you may not be coachable because being coachable is always about learning and growing and stretching.
So if you believe you've already got it, that means you're not very willing to learn anything new to make you more coachable, and that in fact doesn't make you very coachable. So if I haven't confused you already, let me start by talking about some of what you might be seeing, feeling, hearing, if you are not as coachable as you ought to be, if there are times where you're lower on that coachability scale.
One way to know you might be lower on the coachability scale is if you are frustrated with your team all of the time, or most of the time. Because if you're frustrated with your team, you think the problem is always them and you're not looking in the mirror as much as to what problems you may be causing, that may be a good clue that you are not coachable.
You thinking nobody on your team is coachable. Maybe a good clue that you are not coachable. If you find that people around you are very often not willing to tell you the truth if you are frustrated because as the leader, you know, people are not being brutally honest with you. That may be because of the way you react when people are
honest with you, and that may be a clue that you're not very coachable. If the people around you aren't coachable. Well, who is modeling that behavior for them? Who's hiring them? So if you find the people around you aren't very coachable, interestingly enough, that may be a clue that you are not very coachable.
If you are not consistently learning and growing, if you can't remember the last great book you read that taught you something the last time you got great coaching, the last time you, participated in learning something new in a training program or going to a conference and getting a ton out of it beyond just networking, then you may not be very coachable if your company
is not learning and growing, especially if you are the leader of that company, or if your team is not learning and growing and you are the leader of that team, that may be a clue that you are not very coachable. Now, what might you see or feel or hear if you are high on the coachability scale? Most of the time.
Well, you find yourself asking, how can I get better? As opposed to asking, why aren't they better? You do new things that scare you because you know that the only way of you learning and growing is to get outside of your comfort zone. If you are consistently doing those things that scare you, that you're not sure you can do, then that's a clue that you're pretty coachable.
If you're always learning from books, conferences, other people around you, then you might be coachable. If you find your team has the ability to be brutally honest with you, that's a clue. You're coachable. If your team is coachable, if they're learning and growing, that's a clue that you're on the higher end of coachability.
And if it feels like your team, your company is getting better every single day, then that's a hint that you're pretty coachable. Now, even if you found, wow, I sound pretty coachable. I will challenge you to listen on, because what I'm gonna share with you are seven actions that you can take starting today.
To be even more coachable. I don't care where you are. You're not a 10 outta 10 if you're a 7, 8, 9 outta 10, you got some room to grow. So here are seven actions to help you starting today become even more coachable.
Action number one, never stop learning. Books, conferences, coaching, training programs, the more you realize you don't know, the more coachable you are. So when we learn from a book, from a coach, from a mentor, from a conference, what we realize is how much we don't know. And that makes you more coachable. So what could you do today? Pick up a good book.
And by the way, it doesn't have to be a business book. One of the things I did years ago is I took a course in standup comedy, scared the crap outta me, but doing those things, doing something new, and realizing you're clueless. And there are people that know more than you experiences that will help you, that makes you more coachable.
So what could you do today? Pick up a book. Hire a coach. Sign up for a conference or a training program. Call a mentor. Never stop learning. That's number one.
Number two is put away your ego. It's okay to ask for help as a leader. We don't have to have the superhero cape on all the time. We've got this covered. Put your ego away. Be vulnerable. Ask for help.
Number three, a more specific ask. Ask for feedback, and when you're asking for feedback, make sure you're not really asking for praise. I did a TEDx talk not too long ago when I had some folks watch the video. The TEDx was done. I'm really proud of it. Still really proud of it.
One of my family members heard the TEDx and automatically started saying, well, you know what? You could have done better. And it's like, wait a minute. I realized at that point I had them watch it cause what I really wanted was praise. I didn't want feedback. There was nothing I could do to change it at that point.
So there are times when you're asking for praise and that's okay. But action number three is to ask for feedback. And when you ask for feedback, be very specific. Don't just say, how do you think I'm doing? Say, how can I have done a better job of communicating our vision in our town hall event? And notice in that question, how can I have done a better job you're not fishing for.
Oh, you're great. And if someone says, I think it was great, you could say, I appreciate that. But I wanna know how I could have done better. Ask for feedback, not praise, and be specific. That's number three.
Number four is when you get that feedback, say thank you. Notice I didn't say, if you agree with that feedback, say thank you. Say thank you. Not because you agree with the feedback, but because you appreciate the other person's courage and honesty and caring in giving you that feedback.
So all we say thank you, if you get feedback and all you do is push back and go, yeah, well, I don't think that's really the case. Well, that person may not be as willing to give you feedback again.
But if you say thank you, thank you for your honesty, thank you for helping me or trying to help me, people will be genuinely interested in giving you that feedback the next time. So that was number four. Say thank you.
Number five, be accountable. Don't ask for feedback, don't learn new things, and then just go on with your day to day.
Someone gives you feedback and you say, yeah, that's something I'm gonna go do. Do what you said you were going to do. Be accountable, do what you said you were gonna do, and then ask for feedback again. Hey, I know you said one of my challenges is I tend to interrupt in meetings. I don't let people finish their thoughts.
And I appreciated when you told me that two weeks ago. I've really been trying since then to do better. What are you noticing? Have you seen a change? Is it a change for the better? So be accountable and ask for feedback again based on your behavior. That's number five.
Number six is be responsible even if it's not your fault.
So it's part of accountability, but very specifically, if someone says, Hey, you interrupt too much in meetings. And you come back two weeks later and they say you're still interrupting. And you say, yeah, but that was because that was, that meeting was going in the wrong direction and I needed to steer it back.
It's very easy to blame things on outside circumstances. One of the things I talk about with my clients all the time is something called the locus of control. And you could either have an external locus of control, that means things happen to you, the world happens to you. And I promise you, as long as you are a victim of circumstances, as long as the problem is out there, there's no way you're solving it.
On the other hand, an internal locus of control says, I happen to the world. It's a focus. On what you can control. So number six of these actions to be more coaching, be more coachable, is to take that internal locus of control, take responsibility. It's not about blame, it's not about fault. It's about you knowing that you are responsible, you are in control of your outcomes.
And then number seven is when you are asking for help, for feedback. Ask for help thinking, not necessarily advice. Now, here's what I mean by that. When I coach people on how to be a better coach versus their own coachability, One of the things I suggest to them and there's a great book on this called The Coaching Habit by Michael Bunge Stanard must read book if you coach others, but one of the things he talks about is asking questions. Not giving advice. If we give people advice, they're gonna take that advice or not take that advice. If they're gonna take the advice, what you're teaching them to do is to ask for your advice the next time, because you've given them a great answer.
You may not really know what the problem is, but you're gonna give them quick advice to kind of get them out of your audience, your office. So what you wanna do is ask them questions like, what's the real problem here, what's the real challenge for you? What do you actually want as a result out of this?
What have you tried already? It's about asking questions. So when you ask for feedback, when you ask for coaching, don't get frustrated if people don't give you the answer. The best coaching they can give you is to ask you questions. So that you can come to the conclusion. So if you say, hey, how can I have done a better job in that town hall event two weeks ago?
Instead of somebody saying, well, you could have spoken slower, or you could have shared more, or you could have shared less. It is perfectly, reasonable and actually a great thing for them to come back and say, well, what was your objective? During the town hall, what did you see as the biggest challenge, you know, in your town hall talk.
Ask for help, thinking, not necessarily advice. So those are seven actions to take to be more coaching. Get 'em. I'm gonna go through 'em real quick. Number one, never stop learning books, coaching, training programs, mentors. Number two, put away your ego. Feel comfortable being vulnerable, asking for help.
Number three, ask for feedback not praise and be specific in the feedback you're asking for. Number four, say thank you whether you agree with their coaching or not. Number five, be accountable. Do what you say you are gonna do and then ask for more feedback on it. Number six, take responsibility. Even if it's not your fault, that internal locus of control.
And number seven, ask for help thinking, not necessarily advice. Now what step are you gonna take right now? Go do it.